1
I went to Gdansk and all I got was this lousy short story
Actually, the story isn’t all I got – I also got a ton of good memories. I’ve just come back from Gdansk, in Poland, where I was doing Once Upon A Deadline – a writing event run by Hungry Arts as part of the Polish Arts Festival. It was one of the best weekends I’ve […]
Read more...
2
The Black Knight and the Dragon
This is the first of the two “other stories” from King Moonfred and his Knights and Other Stories.
Read more...Four ages of the beard
My beard began about two and a half years ago, and has passed through four ages, as I believe all beards must. 1. Neglect Most beards aren’t planned. The man just stops shaving, usually as a result of some crisis. My dad’s beard began when he had chicken pox and couldn’t shave. Mine began in […]
Read more...Labour schmaving
It occurred to me while using the automated self-checkout machine in Tesco today that I patiently accept a degree of shit from labour-saving devices that I would on no account put up with from people. Why should this be? The following is exactly what would have happened if a person had treated me like the […]
Read more...
2
London Coffee Places and the Death of the English Language
Have you ever seen that episode of the Twilight Zone where a man finds that words are gradually being replaced? One day his wife asks him what he wants for dinosaur. He says ‘Dinosaur? Why don’t we call it lunch anymore?’ She says ‘because lunch is a sort of light red colour.’ He says ‘No, […]
Read more...
5
On being chased out of a Helsinki graveyard by a squirrel
Have I ever told you about the time that I was chased out of a Helsinki graveyard by a squirrel? If so, stop reading now, because the rest of this describes the time I was chased out of a Helsinki graveyard by a squirrel. I think you will find it a tale that is at […]
Read more...